Naps: are they hard for you and your little one?

It seems like with each new "stage" in Colin's life, we find that nap time changes, a little. In the early days (first 3 months) Colin would sleep whenever he needed to. I didn't have a schedule for him to nap and I just followed his cues. He usually took between 3-5 naps per day, ranging from 30 minutes to 2 hours. Then around 3 months, naps became more challenging. He seemed to be easily distracted by what was going on around him and couldn't "let go" to sleep. I had to make some changes.

I started watching his cues more carefully. I tried to be home for nap time, because this seemed to help him sleep better and longer. I also made an effort to help him drift off to dream land. Sometimes that meant patting his back/bottom to help him fall asleep. Many times I would nurse him to sleep, which worked very well. (I'm a big fan)

Now that he is 6 months old, it seems like he doesn't need to take as many naps but also has a harder time falling and staying asleep. I do not subscribe to the "cry-it-out" philosophy, which seems to be the typical advice I am given....

I don't like "cry-it-out" methods for two reasons:

1) I think that letting a child cry alone is a very sad thing and sends a very sad/depressing message to the child. I worked in orphanages in Romania and saw first hand, the effects of neglecting a child's needs in this way. Babies and Children do not cry there. At all. It was very strange and very sad. They have learned that crying will not illicit a response from a care giver so crying is not beneficial. They have learned to be silent because they will not be helped. This is an extreme example, I know, but it has the same result. Babies who are left in their cribs to "cry it out" learn a form of behavior modification, which leads them to the conclusion that when they are in their crib, they will not be helped. They won't cry because they know no one will come to them. I cannot, and will not, ever do that to my child or any other child.

Information on "cry-it-out" methods and reasons it is not beneficial:

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php?nid=386&isbn=0071381392

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/4mo-sleep.html

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html#cry

http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/parenting/cryitout.htm

Also, check out AskDrSears.com for more on Attachment Parenting.

2) I believe that parenting wasn't meant to be "easy" or "simple". I believe parenting is about putting your whole heart into it, getting "knee deep in mud" so to speak and making a lot of personal sacrifice. To me, letting your baby "cry-it-out" is taking the easy way out. I think attachment parenting takes more effort and I believe that anything worth having in life is worth the effort and sacrifice it takes to have it. Children included.


So, wanting to find some info on helping Colin take better naps, I stumbled across this website:

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php?nid=424

It has a lot of helpful information, in my humble opinion, and helped me come to some realistic expectations. Maybe it will help you, too.

This table of sleeping hours, is included in the link above. I just found it very helpful and I love charts/tables/graphs. ;)

Average hours of daytime and nighttime sleep

Age	Number of naps	Total length of naptime hours	Nighttime sleep hours**	Total of nighttime and naptime sleep
Newborn*
3 months	3	5 – 6	10 – 11	15
6 months	2	3 – 4	10 - 11	14 – 15
9 months	2	2 ½ - 4	11 - 12	14
12 months	1–2	2 – 3	11 ½ –12	13 ½ –14
18 months	1–2	2 – 3	11 ¼ -12	13 – 14
2 years	1	1–2 ½	11–12	13 – 13 ½
2 ½ years	1	1 ½ -2	11–11 ½	13 – 13 ½
3 years	1	1–1 ½	11 –11 ½	12 – 13
4 years	0 -1	0 -1	11–11 ½	11 – 12 ½
5-6 years	0 -1	0 -1	11	11 – 12

Here is some info on Kellymom.com about nursing your baby to sleep and other comfort measures:

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

Good luck! I hope naps are a little easier for us all. :)